Going to university is a challenge for any relationship. And when you add into the mix miles of distance and lots of horny new strangers, then it’s no wonder so many couples break up before the Christmas break.
Some relationships are just not meant to last. And like I said, university is a place where people meet lots of fresh, interesting, and likeminded people. However, a huge part of it is because couples simply don’t do their homework and put in the extra time and effort that it takes to make a long distance relationship work.
Make yours one that goes the distance with our four tips for making the long-distance university relationship last and stand the test of fresher’s week, distance, and exam stress.
1. Talk, but not too much
When you’re trying to make a long-distance university relationship work, it can be tempting to want to talk to your partner via phone, email, and any other method you can think of all the freaking time.
But talking more is not the same as communicating well, and rather than bringing you closer, it can often drive you further apart.
To maintain a health long distance relationship, it’s helpful to schedule in times during which you can talk and catch up. This way you’ll avoid the suffocating each-other with WhatsApp memes but still make sure you’re both kept in the loop with each other’s goals, plans, and all the things that are really important.
2. Make your relationship a priority
University is a busy time, and while the partner who moves away is often preoccupied with study, going out, and meeting new people, the one who stayed at home can often be sat by the phone, alone and waiting.
For this reason, if your relationship is going to last, you need to make it a clear priority from day one. That means making plans and calculating costs and doing all the little tedious things that take time. If each of you make a conscious and visible effort to make it work, and you always have things to look forward to, you can ensure your bond stays strong and other plans and people don’t get in the way.
3. Keep it fun and romantic
The art of romance is hard to master in long-distance university relationships, as when you’re not together for a lot of time your conversations and time spent together can become consumed by dealing with doubts, catching up, and making more plans.
But without romance, the rest of it can pretty much be forgotten. You’re in a relationship for a reason, and just a little bit of romance can be all it takes to make you feel that bit closer and more connected.
Try sending letters or poems, buying gifts like flowers or personal trinkets, and going out of your way to do something special and unexpected. Making such gestures is a much more effective way of communicating your love and commitment for each other than an hourly Snap.
4. Notice the good things
Seeing each other all the time or living under the same roof can become idealised in a long-distance university relationship. Of course, it has its upsides, but the reality is, for most people, it sucks big time.
Likewise, long distance relationships have their ups and downs, but for a mature and independent couple, they have many more up sides. For one, not being on top of each other all the time means you’re forced to face uncomfortable feelings and learn more about yourself and your partner. When you do see each other, you also don’t waste in slouched in front of Netflix but spent it well doing something meaningful and exciting.
All of this means that with the right mindset, the experience of a long-distance university relationship can actually bring you closer together and make what you have even stronger. And whenever you forget that, remember, it’s fine to have doubts too — that’s what ice-cream and cake is for.